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From My Heart to Yours: Anger

Fri, 02 May 2008 09:55:00
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From My Heart to Yours: Anger

To Whom It May Concern:

Hello, it’s me again.  Just one person talking to another from the heart.  I want to speak to you about anger.  Not just being upset about missing the bus by 30 seconds when I’m late for work.  I’m talking about that uncontrolled anger that comes out when I least expect it; when too much has gone wrong and I want to blame everyone else in the world for it except me.  Anger over finances, being treated unfairly, feeling disrespected, the list can go on forever.  Guess who usually bears the brunt of this anger - my significant other.  And in the end I bear the brunt as well, because I feel foolish for having been so angry and for causing instability in my relationships.  I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but that doesn’t make me feel any better about it.  As the head of my household, I am supposed to set the tone.  If I am out of control, the whole household is out of control.  It is my job to keep the peace within my family and bear as much of the responsibility as I can.  That is what I feel men are supposed to do.  Hasn’t it always been that way?  I did not understand this in my younger days of marriage, but as I grew, along with my love for my family, this has become clearer.

The world isn’t what I would like it to be, and it probably never will be.  My anger over this has, at times, come close to costing me my job and my family.  I have said things to people that were completely uncalled for and unacceptable in the course of my anger.  I have found that acting on my anger negatively can set me back for years, even for generations.  The damage that can be done in a fit of anger can be devastating.  Is it worth being jobless, or losing the respect of those who embrace me, just so I can vent in an uncontrolled manner?  I have found the answer to be ‘NO!’  It is good to vent, but venting needs to occur in an appropriate environment. 

I was jobless at one time, and a ‘friend’ set me up with a job that paid way below my experience level.  It definitely would not support my family.  I was very angry because I knew there were better jobs he could offer me, but he did not have my best interest at heart.  I was so mad that I was about to turn the job down.   After taking out my anger on everyone around me, hurting the feelings of those who cared about me, and looking foolish in the process, I accepted the job.  That job was the stepping stone that got me where I am today, and I am happy with where I am today.  Was it really necessary to exhibit my anger so negatively, especially when everything is going to turn out the way it is meant to be, no matter what I do?

I have been so angry about my finances that I have actually spent money I didn’t have, because I felt like I should have been able to have what I wanted.  Then I didn’t have that much needed money to pay the bills.  As a family man, it’s not all about me.  Strong emotions like anger can cause irresponsible behavior.  That’s why it is important that I keep my emotions in check.  I’m not always successful, but the more I focus on being even tempered, the easier it gets.  I take a walk and get some fresh air, I read something inspirational, I pray, and I cry.  It’s better than putting everything else in my life at risk.

These are just my experiences.  If I have reached the heart of just one person, I will feel I have been of some worth today.  I am not judging anyone, so please do not judge me.

Your Humble Servant

 
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