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Creating an emotionally safe household

Tue, 30 Sep 2014 21:28:00
Article by:
By Midgett
Fathers, mothers, single parents, grandparents and partners — and all who live in the household — can create and allay each others anxieties with a well structured environment.
    
I will list some of the issues that might surround your life. They might help you to make some adjustments in your living environment.
    
Creating a calm environment is good for your mental health. You can either make your day insane when you vent anger and not be aware of the reasons why, or think before you speak. You don’t need a lot of furniture that you look at and wonder how you’re going to pay for it every time you view it. Comfort is better then style. Stop looking angry constantly.
    
Do you turn on loud music in the morning or start your day badgering someone? Do you holler constantly and complain throughout the evening about tasks that didn’t get done that day or the week? Do you know what a hoarder is? It is a person who has issues about letting objects go. There are different kinds of hoarders.
    
Sometimes pictures or maybe the décor in your space can trigger emotional disturbances. Are you aware that individuals living in the household can feel intimidated by each other? As a result from varied behaviors, some family members’ emotional needs can be disrupted, depending upon the stimulation. With some events, routine and sameness can make their world feel safe.
    
Verbal and nonverbal communications can affect your environment.

Verbal communication

This does not create an emotionally safe living environment, when household members are constantly being put down by others. Then to add to the insanity, screaming and abusive language are often included. An outside member may be critical of the living situation when they visit. One member is always talking about the “would, could and should” of the household. In fact, having a monthly meeting about how some of the issues can be worked out — as a result, some of the negative energy in the living space could either be lessened or eliminated.
    
Allow each adult and child to express their concerns without interruptions. Then some problem-solving might work. Remember, little people have concerns.
Nonverbal communication
    
I was told from my friends and visitors that my space has a feeling of calmness even though the color scheme is white, brown, and beige. The family pictures are on all the shelves with hanging plants above them, which gives it a homey look. This gives the family a sense of unity and love. Some are group pictures of us. The scenes are of graduates and accomplishments of family members. I have inspirational expressions in frames on the walls. There are African pictures painted on clothes in bright colors.
    
The shelves, cabinets and books add brightness to my environment. I always have jazz for quiet listening while doing my computer work, which begins in the early morning.
    
Mary Midgett is the author of "New York Flavor with a San Francisco Beat." This is stimulating erotic fiction as relationship enhancers, and well, just to get your grove on! This is a joyously provocative orchestration of good feelings. Midgett has worked for over 35 years teaching, counseling and writing to articulate complex issues in human sexuality and intimacy.

Midgett is a contributor to
Hot & bothered: Short Fiction on Lesbian Desire. Midgett has contributed to Riding Desire, an anthology of erotic writing edited by Tee Corinne. The San Francisco resident is available to do presentations and seminars on social and family negotiations. Send an email to midgettscorner@aol.com. Midgett can also be viewed on YouTube at www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzXGu4PlrJg.
 
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